Poem

my heart is racing
stunned like before
still no progress
bound for emptiness
a quest began
not one soul found
slowly drifting away

---

never look back
nothing up ahead
time is uncertain
confusion taking over
running out of breath

---

one is lonely
two is company
three is a crowd
what about zero?

---

life's purpose
dreams to be fulfilled
deep in thought
reflection's vise

---

Walking down an empty road
A fork up ahead
Wondering which way to go
Unable to decide
Just turned around and walked back

Dwelling in the past
Old ghosts haunting me again
Always in deep thought
Waiting, waiting
Wishing, hoping
One wrong move
Destroys everything

My heart is pounding
Hating everything that was done
Past is present, present is past

---

Always wrong
Never right
Still mad
Life's test
Failed miserably
Trying hard
Over thinking
Staying behind
Severe headache
Pressure unbearable
Complete breakdown
World's end
Drowned sorrow

---

About me.

It's been a while since i last posted. Heck, I never talk about myself much anyways. Well since i'm super depressed right now I might as well do some typing.

I'm not much of a talker. Many people I know can agree to that. Writing in this blog is somewhat a chance to tell people what's happening in my life. Well that's for whoever reads this (if there are any).

I'm out. I wasn't accepted to UP CHK. Meaning I have no college in UP to go to. Which also means I have been taken out of the UP system. Ouch. Still haven't told my parents about it. They always tell me about how I should be doing good in my studies to get a good future. And now I failed them. All my father wanted was me to graduate from UP and I couldn't even do that.

I actually know what I want to do. I want to get into SAESingapore. It's a college in Singapore that has a gaming development course. But my family is in a financial crisis so I can't afford to tell my parents on how I want what I want. It's not fair to them.

I just don't know what to do now. I know that my problems are far from how other depressed people are but these are the kinds of problems that I have which make me really depressed. It's so bad. I hate it.

I think what i'm saying is that whoever reads this, talk to me. Lol. Tell me not to do anything stupid. Tell me not to do anything dumb. Tell me what to do.

I'm that desperate. Haha.

New Year

Not new year as in New Year. New year as in new school year.
Back to school.
I miss summer.

Camping(?). Throws. Ultimate. Burger. Throws. Burger. Done.
That was the life.

Back to reality. I think.

Moving out of the college. Good decision..? I think so. Know so.

JI. Pre-work. LoL. Fun. Suicide Rapelling. BE READY. LOL.

oh well.

whatever comes.

oh well

i was gonna try.

d dumating e..

haha

idea

new ideas.

out of home.
job.
PERFECT GRADES. (?)
--girl--. (?)
fun.
more fun.
less pressure.
some more fun.

oh well..

asar

asar talaga. pramis.

my bad. lol.

gg. 1st win.

don't & do

I don't know...
I don't know what i'm missing..
I don't hate school life, i just don't have the will to continue it.
I don't have the inspiration.
I don't like it this way.
I don't want it this way.

I do want to go to school. (?)
I do like it in school.
I do want to graduate.
I do want an inspiration.

Help.